Just When I Thought I Couldn’t Love Paul Rudd Any More

Anyone who knows me, knows I love Paul Rudd.  He is the only celebrity that I actually would care to say that I care about ever.  He’s a dream.  Anyway – I really thought I was at capacity for how much I could love/admire someone I hadn’t met without being psycho, but also I was shown this magnificent video yesterday and it’s as if I’m watching ‘Clueless’ for the first time all over again.

Do You Have 10″ Nipples? Then Where Do You Buy Your Bras?

 

I don’t normally frequent Home Depot, but I went last month and was pleasantly surprised to find that they could service all my nipple needs, no matter the size.

I Just Defriended 1000 People on Facebook

Facebook started my freshman year in college.  I reluctantly joined after a friend made me join so he could “have more friends.”  Immediately after signing up I realized that I looked pretty lame having only one friend and starting hounding my real life friends to join and be my digital friend.  And from there it violently spiraled out of control. I started feeling like one of the crazies on the show ‘Hoarders: Buried Alive’ except I’m being crushed by status updates, mobile uploads and engagement announcements instead of envelopes from 1984. 

Flash forward six years later.  I have 1783 friends.  I know.  It’s absolutely ridiculous.  While I am a social butterfly, my facebook was out of control and it was only getting worse.  My friends ranged from people who I actually love and speak to regularly, to people that I drunkenly became best friends with (for one night) at a frat party.  Then of course, friends of friends who had visited for the weekend, classmates, sorority sisters, coworkers, family members, people who went to my high school that I didn’t remember but felt bad rejecting, etc.  Continue reading

Things I Hate Vol. 3

FRISEE

It looks like a witch’s hair and it’s texture is vomitrotious.

There are hundreds of better varieties of lettuce out there so I really do not understand why chefs insist on throwing what looks like a bunch of Shrek’s discarded pubic hair onto every salad that I get.

The Day I Tried to Teach My Grandma About Computers

My friend’s Gradma just recently got an e-mail account, which reminded me of the time when I tried to explain how to use a computer to my Grandma.  I was 10 years old at the time and I think she was about a million, but I could be wrong about that.

Just to give you a better idea of who my grandma is – she has long red hair and, everyday, wears enough make-up to supply KISS for a year.  She never liked the idea of being called Grandma, but did embrace the idea of being ‘grand’.  We call her ‘Grandy’.  Also, she has a boyfriend who lives next door to her and she thinks any girl who wears a ‘tankini’ is total whore (god forbid she see any current bathing suit styles).  She has an enormous porcelain doll collection that would scare even the creepiest serial killer straight to redemption.  Totally normal right? No, not at all. Continue reading

He Likes the Ween

I know Ween is a band, but it still makes me happy to see this.

One point for Facebook.

Hide Ya Kids, Hide Ya Wife

You all probably saw the news clip about the woman whose would-be rapist was chased away by her ghetto-fabulous brother in the next room.  What you might not have see was the auto-tune remix of said video, which is amazing.  Actually, it’s more than amazing.  I want to download this song and play it on repeat ALL day and I’m not even exaggerating.  I have this caught in my head and I want to hear this next time I’m down the shore (make it happen DJ Paulie D).