Category Archives: whores

The Jonathan Taylor Thomas

Most people don’t know this about me, because I try to hide the crazy until it’s too late for a quick escape but, I have a tendency to create initialisms of virtually everything people say to me.  One phrase I hear all the time is ‘Just The Tip’.  For those of you who don’t know (which is probably no one who is reading this blog) ‘just the tip’ refers to placing the tip of a man’s penis into your vagina when you’re fooling around.  Typically this is not considered ‘sex’ (even though it 100% is sex by definition) and allows the girl to justify how much she is not a whore the next morning when she’s explaing to her friends why her sex number has not gone up even though a new man was inside of her. 

I digress…

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i’m watching you.

I’m a total stalker. No I don’t litterally follow people around with binoculars and make hair dolls, but I do utilize Facebook, as well as Google (when Facebook just isn’t enough). I mainly stalk the same kinds of people over and over and over again.   

 

 

I stalk the following:

 

people under 25 that have babies

 

  • Babies in general, yea they’re cute, but I won’t purposely set aside time in my day to look at pictures of them, especially not pictures I’ve already seen (many, many times). But there’s just something about the girl who was on your pee-wee softball team in 2nd greade and her child. I’m not even sure why I feel this way. I just have a strong compulsion to check her (even though there are multiple hers in this case…) Facebook account almost daily to see if Little Suzy learned to walk yet, ate an apple, got a new dress, pooped her pants, etc. So if you’re ready this, went to high school with me, and have a baby that you post pictures of on Facebook…I hope you’re comfortable with this and please don’t be freaked out because I promise I’ll never be outside your window like a major creeper. I’ll just be several hundred miles away looking at your baby like a total creeper.

girls I believe want to fuck my boyfriend

 

  • This one is just obvious. All girls do this. However, in my stalker world, I probably stalk these whores the least. But if you must know why its because you have to know that they’ve moved onto someone else and also that they’re uglyier, fatter, smellier, sluttier, bitchier,and more of a loser than me. Also, in a lot of cases the girls don’t really even want your boyfriend, which makes you more stalker-ish. This category of stalking doesn’t really do anything besides make me feel dumb, so I’m done talking about it.

 

interesting people (who usually end up being very uninteresting hipsters)

 

  • Let me clarify. You can be really interesting, but if you aren’t a hipster, I prob won’t stalk you. There’s just something about them that is so interesting to me. I think mostly it’s wondering how the kid that grew up next door to me ended up living in Williamsburg, drinking PBR, wearing glasses way too big for their face and lots of flannel. It makes me wonder, “Where did I go wrong?” and also makes me curious. I get curious about what kind of stuff they know that I just have never even heard of. Like I know a lot of pointless shit, and even some stuff that might have a point if you really search for it. But I just wonder how they think compared to how I think…so I stalk them to try and figure it out. Usually though, I find out that they don’t really know/watch/see anything differently than I do and that’s usually when the stalking ends.

 

and

 

people that are so ridiculously douchey you can’t look away

 

  • self-explanitory.
     

i’m watching you.

I’m a total stalker. No I don’t literally follow people around with binoculars and make hair dolls, but I do utilize Facebook, as well as Google (when Facebook just isn’t enough) I tend to mainly stalk the same kinds of people over and over again.
I stalk the following:

people under 25 that have babies

  • Babies in general, yea they’re cute, but I won’t purposely set aside time in my day to look at pictures of them, especially not pictures I’ve already seen (many, many times). But there’s just something about the girl who was on your pee-wee softball team in 2nd greade and her child. I’m not even sure why I feel this way. I just have a strong compulsion to check her (even though there are multiple hers in this case…) Facebook account almost daily to see if Little Suzy learned to walk yet, ate an apple, got a new dress, pooped her pants, etc. So if you’re ready this, went to high school with me, and have a baby that you post pictures of on Facebook…I hope you’re comfortable with this and please don’t be freaked out because I promise I’ll never be outside your window like a major creeper. I’ll just be several hundred miles away looking at your baby like a total creeper.

girls I believe want to fuck my boyfriend

  • This one is just obvious. All girls do this. However, in my stalker world, I probably stalk these whores the least. But if you must know why its because you have to know that they’ve moved onto someone else and also that they’re uglyier, fatter, smellier, sluttier, bitchier,and more of a loser than me. Also, in a lot of cases the girls don’t really even want your boyfriend, which makes you more stalker-ish. This category of stalking doesn’t really do anything besides make me feel dumb, so I’m done talking about it.

interesting people (who usually end up being very uninteresting hipsters)

  • Let me clarify. You can be really interesting, but if you aren’t a hipster, I prob won’t stalk you. There’s just something about them that is so interesting to me. I think mostly it’s wondering how the kid that grew up next door to me ended up living in Williamsburg, drinking PBR, wearing glasses way too big for their face and lots of flannel. It makes me wonder, “Where did I go wrong?” and also makes me curious. I get curious about what kind of stuff they know that I just have never even heard of. Like I know a lot of pointless shit, and even some stuff that might have a point if you really search for it. But I just wonder how they think compared to how I think…so I stalk them to try and figure it out. Usually though, I find out that they don’t really know/watch/see anything differently than I do and that’s usually when the stalking ends.

and

people that are so ridiculously douchey you can’t look away

  • self-explanitory.
This video is about stalking and being funny.

(fyi:i am not affiliated with this video at all, just like it)