Today might be national douchebag day. Everyone I’ve come into contact with has been rude to me. It’s a great way to start the day. All of these wonderful interactions have sparked a dream in my heart. What’s the dream you ask? It’s that I get to push these wonderful humans down a well.
You might say that is cold blooded, but it gets better. After I push them down said well, I will tell them I’m going to get help/supplies/a news crew and will just leave, never to return. These desires would be easily quelled if people would just be nice to me. So hey, people, stop taking out your problems on me because I will push you down a fucking well.