Category Archives: conspiracy

Don’t Push Me Cause I’m Close to a Well.

Today might be national douchebag day.  Everyone I’ve come into contact with has been rude to me.  It’s a great way to start the day.  All of these wonderful interactions have sparked a dream in my heart.  What’s the dream you ask?  It’s that I get to push these wonderful humans down a well.  

You might say that is cold blooded, but it gets better.  After I push them down said well, I will tell them I’m going to get help/supplies/a news crew and will just leave, never to return.  These desires would be easily quelled if people would just be nice to me.  So hey, people, stop taking out your problems on me because I will push you down a fucking well.


Thanks A Lot Beyonce.

I’ve noticed a major trend among my facebook friends lately: you are all getting engaged.  Yahoo… Mazel Tov, congratulations, yadda yadda!  Now can you stop posting pictures of your ring and giving me play by play details about the planning of a wedding I will not be invited to.  I may seem like I’m bitter…OK I might be a teensy, tiny, bit bitter, but I have good reasons I don’t want to hear about your engagement via facebook:

  • once everyone my age gets married, we’re all actually adults
  • your ring/dress/fiance is ugly and it’s really hard for me to hold back comments Continue reading

Don’t Call This Kid a Homo

Seriously, don’t.

This Really Just Happened.

What do I do when a friend says something ridiculous on AIM?  Lets find out.
johnnyhighfive500: i dont believe that the pyramids are real
JiLLpaysdaBillz: ?
johnnyhighfive500: like i find it hard to believe that humans back in the day made them
JiLLpaysdaBillz: well if you want your mind to be blow ill tell you what i think
johnnyhighfive500: aliens
JiLLpaysdaBillz: no
johnnyhighfive500: tellme
JiLLpaysdaBillz: ok i think that humans were like ever better than they are not like thousands of years ago
JiLLpaysdaBillz: and like there was a huge crazy civilization
JiLLpaysdaBillz: like a fuck ton more advanced and awesome than ours today
JiLLpaysdaBillz: and basically either global warming happened or they blew themselves up or all got sick and died
JiLLpaysdaBillz: and then thousands of years (maybe millions) went by and like everything just like disappeared but the pyramids and then like somehow some bacteria started evolution
JiLLpaysdaBillz: and it just all started again
JiLLpaysdaBillz: just with some hints from the past
johnnyhighfive500: that would be crazy
johnnyhighfive500: yeah but the pyramids were like 4000 years ago
JiLLpaysdaBillz: thats what you think
JiLLpaysdaBillz: its just so advanced you can’t understand
johnnyhighfive500: aliens
JiLLpaysdaBillz: fuck aliens, aliens are so cliche
johnnyhighfive500: they are so real
JiLLpaysdaBillz: i mean aliens are real
JiLLpaysdaBillz: but like they are not involved in this
JiLLpaysdaBillz: ok wait time out
johnnyhighfive500: time in
johnnyhighfive500: i cant wait till the worlds mysterys are all figured out

This conversation is real and did go on longer, neither party was under the influence of any drugs.