Category Archives: choices

Rejected VH1 SMS Blast Copy

Each week (at work) we put out a weekly wrap-up of VH1’s hottest content and yours truly writes copy for the SMS blast message.  Here is some copy I wrote that got rejected almost immediately:

  •   VH1: Boo!  Did we scare you? Oh, sorry.  No seriously, come back.  We have some spooky celebrity costumes & also a lot of side boob! Continue reading

OMFG: The Fashion Police Gave Her a Medal

Like, OMG, I totes can’t believe how hot this new trend for summer is!?!  If I could choose one piece of clothing to wear for the rest of my life, and never change it, or never even wash it once, this would be it BY FAR! 

OMG Someone Call House of Style ASAP!

OMG Someone Call House of Style ASAP!

I know what you’re thinking, “Pshhh what is this total poser talking ’bout…like who wears jackets in the summer PSHHH?!?”  Well guess what bitch, everyone except you, starting immediately after this post gets published…so BOOYAH!  Who is stupid now?  The answer is you. 

Anyway as if being totally warm and sweaty in the summer months doesn’t totally float your boat, wearing 15 patterns at a time TOTES will!  I mean has matching ever been easier?  If you’re wearing every color, you can’t not match.  AM I RIGHT???  And if you’re anti-matching, then this new fashion trend has another fabulous attribute for you to fall in love with everyday: a portrait of a grey-haired GWEN STEFANI!  You can totes be like ‘OMG Brandon, I’m going to Harijuku all over your ass’.  Brandon won’t know what you’re talking about because he’s clearly not down with the most diggity slang like me, and also he’s imaginary.

Two Products That Will Revolutionize the Way We Drive FOREVER

Sometimes I suck at driving, or am lost, or I’m on my phone, or eating something…well there are many instances when I’m not up to par with some of the really cool assholes who like to drive 1 1/2 inches behind my car in the hopes that I will stop short and we can have a screaming match about whose fault it is (theirs), and eventually one of us will be shot with a cross bow.  But now there are two new products that will bring the number or road rage related crossbow murders down to a record low!

Hitch HandsThe first product is called ‘Hitch Hands’.  This product allows you to use sign language to get your point across without turning around and crashing your car in the process.  Some great examples are the ever-popular middle finger, and probably the least likely to be used: the ‘I Love You’ in sign language.  You simply put these little hands over top of your trailer hitch (Note to self: get trailer hitch) and viola!  Just wait for the magic to happen!

 

plate flipperThe second amazing and revolutionary product serves almost the same purpose, but is for those of us who can read, but can’t understand sign language.  This product is called the ‘Plate Flipper’.  This ingenius invention allows your liscense plate to move electronically (ooh it’s the future) to reveal a hidden message.  The message can be anything from your phone number, something dirty, something about driving, maybe your ex’s phone number, really the possibilities are endless, as long as you can read.  Although I guess if you can’t read, someone could just help you, but anyway.  This magical device can really get your point across, again without causing an accident.  But you should be careful what you write because some people are crazy and might follow you to a rest stop and shoot you with a cross bow anyway.  Oh also this invention can be used to avoid paying tolls because the cameras won’t be able to take a picture of your plates.  So versitile!

What Is Happening In This Picture?

This fish is either eating another fish, or smoking a joint.

You decide:
A) Fish on fish crime
B) The cause of the 6 
second attention span

leave your answer in the comments section.